How to deal with to families that dont get along?
Airfares
Keri O asked:
My husband and i got married and did not tell our parents it was a spur of the moment thing a month ago in Vegas. My parents cant stand him because he is 21 and italian not spanish from spain or costa rica like them like they wanted and his parents dont really like me because i am spanish they called me a tramp even though i lost it too there son! and they want him to date Italian girls.We told them we were engaged after the trip to Vegas.Can this problem be fixed before we tell them we are married? Both of our families value family above almost everything but cant seem to get along. I am also a freshmen in college and pregnant with my husband child.We may have to move in with either family seeing .
I dont think culturally we are so different and i wish my husband would stick up for me against his mother. I am sure both set of familys will now think we ruined our lives.
I am 18 years old and a freshmen in college my hubby is a junior.
Lydia
My husband and i got married and did not tell our parents it was a spur of the moment thing a month ago in Vegas. My parents cant stand him because he is 21 and italian not spanish from spain or costa rica like them like they wanted and his parents dont really like me because i am spanish they called me a tramp even though i lost it too there son! and they want him to date Italian girls.We told them we were engaged after the trip to Vegas.Can this problem be fixed before we tell them we are married? Both of our families value family above almost everything but cant seem to get along. I am also a freshmen in college and pregnant with my husband child.We may have to move in with either family seeing .
I dont think culturally we are so different and i wish my husband would stick up for me against his mother. I am sure both set of familys will now think we ruined our lives.
I am 18 years old and a freshmen in college my hubby is a junior.
Lydia
March 31st, 2009 at 9:54 am
Hmm, probably both families will not be very happy knowing that you are married and pregnant. However, they might be happy that you where married before getting pregnant.
Anyway, this is a difficult one. You can’t change them or their opinions, you can only hope that they will start to realize that you are both adults and have made your own decision. Try to have a good and open communication with them. That’s the best you can do probably. Let them get used to the idea.
There is no way back now, they should realize. Maybe, when all familymembers are more used to the idea, it will all come out to be fine.
Don’t poke up the fire though! To be honest, if you where my child and 18 years old, I would not be that happy, no matter who your husband was. They are maybe just afraid that their children make wrong decisions. Decisions that affect their whole life. How are you gonna finish college when you have a child? Anyway, I do wish you the best, and again communicate and try to understand their point of view. If they love you, you will get out of it together.
Good luck!
April 2nd, 2009 at 3:10 am
You and your husband have to go on with your own lives now. Don’t let the families tear you apart. It is their loss if they can’t accept the marriage. Don’t worry about fixing the problem, just love your husband and go on with your lives. Try your best not to move in with family, it will only cause hurt and more problems than you already have. Try to find friends who are supportive of the situation. If both families value family above all else they will come around in time, just let it happen. Don’t try to make either family accept the situation, it, too may make matters worse. Just love your husband and go on with your life. You have a baby coming soon, you don’t want to raise him/her in the chaos! Good luck Honey!
April 2nd, 2009 at 8:11 pm
just pray that god will help u